What would I pack if I knew I would be stranded on a desert island?

This Week’s Challenge:
issued by Man Crates
Man Crates creates unique survival gift sets geared toward men. They have kits like The Retro Gamer Crate which my brother would LOVE and the Zombie Annihilation Crate which my dad would get a kick out of. 
What would I pack if I knew I would be stranded on a desert island?
Hmm.. first I thought I would do the smart thing and pack some can food, rope, knives, lighters, can opener, books, an umbrella, a few changes of clothes, blow up mattress, a blanket and pillow, tent, and the basic necessities of life. 

Than I realize nope in real life I am not that smart. No, my short stent on a deserted island would look more like this. 
Packed: Book, cell phone, blanket, pillow, and a box of granola bars.
Picturing myself:


Events of Me on My Imaginary Deserted Island
Arrival day: Excited about the possibility of some “me” time.
45 mins later: Bored of self and reading this book.
1 hour later: Throw book as far out into ocean as can. Take a Nap.
That Night: Can’t sleep because of nap and scared whit-less due to jungle night sounds.
Next day: Granola bars gone. Hunt for food. Starting to feel the internet addiction withdraw.
Lunch time: Found berries but too scared to eat them without the ability to google them to see if they are poisonous. 
Evening: Getting kinda sick of self and talking to the rocks in the ground. Rosie doesn’t talk back.
Night: Sleep from sheer exhaustion and hunger. 
Next day: Using cell phone to beat open a coconut more out of punishment to it because it doesn’t work. Angry at Rosie because she is ignoring me.
Lunch: Stuff face with berries hoping they are poisonous.
Mid Day: Lack of social interaction and frequently available internet information causes a mental melt down and the berries really were poisonous…
3 days!
I would make it a total of 3 days before complete mental shut down.
I guess it’s a good thing there are places that make survival kits for those of us who have NO survival skills.
such as Man Crates Ultimate Camping Survival Box.  
Disclosure: I received nothing for this post just thought it would be a fun idea.
What would you pack if you knew you would be stranded on a desert island?

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